The UPS Boy

It started out as just an ordinary weekend. I put on a pair of jeans, a t-shirt and threw my hair up in a ponytail. No makeup. Just headed out to do some errands. First stop was the UPS store to drop off my Nespresso pods for recycling and mail a package. The boy, who I have since named Sven, although his name was something more typical like Steve, was business as usual.

I use the word "boy", not as an insult, but rather to reflect the disparity in our ages. Come on ladies, it's hard to describe a 20 something year old male person as a "man", when you are a 50 something year old woman. Calling him a man makes it sound like he could handle me-and I'm talking about my mind, my experiences and my personality! Calling him something like, "young man" is an option, but it makes me feel even older. So I'm sticking with boy.

Like I said, business as usual until it was time to pay. He told me what I owed, and as I was getting my card out of my wallet, Sven simultaneously said, "We take credit, debit......and good looks"! Yes he did! And the reason I know I heard right, was that I saw his coworker, who was standing right beside him, look at Sven with a queried face and then looked at me. I skipped happily out of the store....

When I got home, I told my husband about it, as I flaunted my newly young (in my mind!), sexy body. He said, "Four-hour drive, baby"-meaning, see how you feel after you drive 4 hours in a car with that person. Will you have similar music taste? Will he relate to your life experiences? How will your values compare to that of the millennial? Can he handle it when you get upset? We laughed.

I asked myself why this compliment from a younger male put a smile on my face for a few hours. It's not like I was attracted to him physically, but more so to the compliment and the fact that it came from someone so young. When the high wore off, I realized, dammit, that I'd fallen back into my old programming-thinking that being young is more attractive than being old and that I had more value when I was younger.

Let's face it, the world has typically focused on the young and we've grown up having been bombarded with messages that we should stay that way- especially in body. After I turned 50, and had a "crisis", I realized for myself that it's just too exhausting for me to do that, and that I'd be fighting a losing battle. It's taken a lot of therapy and mental retraining to minimize comparing my body to those of women 10, 20 and 30 years younger than me. And what more value do they add to the world than I did and still do?

I've joined the positive aging movement I guess you could say; it's easier for me and much more fulfilling.

Feminist writer Gloria Steinem, on being told “You don’t look 40” at her 40th-birthday party, replied, “This is what 40 looks like – we’ve been lying so long, who would know?”