All You Need is a Boob Job and Some Fruit

I was doing what I periodically do-standing in front of the mirror taking inventory of my body. Now I know you've done what I did next. I grabbed my breasts and hoisted them up a couple of inches-to the position they were in about 20 years ago. What I noticed was not how they looked perkier, but rather how my waistline looked sleeker. I thought to myself, I've found the cure for the middle age spread! All I need is a boob job!

So what is this middle age spread I've heard about since I was 20, and anticipated with doom and gloom. Was it inevitable that my pear shape was going to turn into an apple? And who is the person that started naming women's shapes after fruits?! So as we age, our muscle mass declines, our metabolism slows down and apparently we don't need as many calories. Unless we adjust for these changes, then we'll gain weight. The final straw is that menopause sends hormonal signals to redistribute our weight and any extra fat goes right to the middle.

Well it is not inevitable that our physique has to turn into "un bol de fruits". That's French for "a bowl of fruit", but it sounds much more elegant doesn't it? It's just a little harder to keep our "venture" (stomach) from spreading. OK I'll stop with the French! It'll take some commitment. Here's some tips:

1. Build lean body mass/muscle mass. Don't be afraid of bulking up. Remember at our age, we have less to work with, so think of it as building muscle just to look and stay trimmer. Building muscle mass also improves balance and mobility and you may also feel mentally stronger. Ways to do this include strength training with weights or bands or yoga geared toward strength and flexibility. Plank pose is awesome!

2. Be more active. Sit less and move more. Take the stairs. Park further away from the store.

3. You don't need to eat less-just differently. Eat more chicken and fish rather than fatty meats. Choose broth based soups over creamy soups. Black beans with guacamole has become my favorite breakfast! Choose red wine over white wine which has more sugar.

I think the BIGGEST TIP I have is to make peace with your aging body. Even if we maintain the same weight from 30 to 65, the fact is our body just won't look the same. Accept it. Our skin will thin, our breasts will hang lower and our thighs will droop. Just like fruit, we ripen with age. And come to think of it, just like us, fruit ripens with age too! Call it fruit menopause if you will. Pears and apples begin to emit a gaseous plant hormone called ethylene that breaks down their cells. Sound familiar? But did you know that's also the process that makes fruit sweeter. When you think about it this way, I don't mind so much being compared to something sweet and healthy and abundant.

And if all else fails, you may consider a new "soutien-gorge". That's French for bra. I couldn't resist!