Shades (and Carpets) of Gray

A few years ago as I was perusing FaceBook, I came across the photo of a girl I went to high school with and was so shocked I literally sucked in air, eyes bulging. Her hair was shockingly white! I had watched her hair go from dark, rich brown, to blondish, to brownish and now Ka-Bam! white, in the blink of a post. This hit me hard. If it could happen to the popular, cheerleading, married her football playing high school sweet heart, then it could happen to me. And, in her seemingly perfect, fashionable self, it was not drab gray, it was pure white uniformly spread on her head. Beautiful. How would I compete?

On the flip side, my grandmother colored her hair until she died at the age of 95. In fact, I never saw a gray/white root on her head until about 4 months before she died. But again, she was of the school that thought it’s impolite to ask a woman her age. When she bought her burial plot, she wouldn't allow them to put her birthdate on it-until she died. I thought she should shout her age through a megaphone, because she looked great and should be proud to have lived so long.

I’ve been debating whether or not I will color my hair as it gets whiter. Believe it or not, I’m 53 and don’t have white roots; the white seems to be coming in strand by strand, which could pass as "highlights" as I have renamed them. As I move through my world, I have been taking inventory of women who seem to have embraced this most obvious sign of aging, and those who have decided to color their hair (no judgement here).

I know this is not an easy choice; the stigma associated with women and white hair is real. As I've perused my own thoughts, websites, blogs and instagram pages, here's some of the reasons I've found that women often avoid going gray.

1. It makes me look ugly, old and not good enough.

2. Will the world start seeing me as useless?

3. I won't look sexy anymore.

4. The transition will be too hard.

5. I'll have to acknowledge my mortality.

6. I'll have to acknowledge I'm not in control.

To add fuel to the fire....

Sitting around the scrapbooking table some years back, my girlfriend asked if I knew whether or not they make color for pubic hair. I have no idea why the possibility of white hair down there never occurred to me before. But then, low and behold, the first time I bent over to blow-dry my hair and was confronted with my first white pubic hair, I shouted and grabbed the tweezers! Why was I more horrified when strands of white hair showed up in my nether region than I was when it showed up on my head? How will I address this predicament I find myself in? I ask my perfectionist self, if I choose to color the hair on my head, should the color down there match? Will there be another rabbit hole down which I'll end up after that? HGTV, Pinterest, and Ballard Designs don't address this decorating dilemma.

What I do know for myself is.....

1. I'm working on stopping what I call perfection addiction, because it's exhausting me to keep up a false image.

2. I'm working on celebrating the fact that I am aging, and I believe in throwing birthday parties for myself!

3. I decided to re-embrace my naturally curly hair, rather than treating it harshly with chemicals that made my scalp itch for 2 days after the process.

4. I enjoy not having to "fix" my hair.

5. To love me is to love my hair-no matter how it looks.
   

So we'll see what happens as my hair continues to change. Ultimately, I believe there is power in groups of women and diversity (even in hair color) is welcome .

I'd love to hear from all the decorators out there!